I have learned the signs that he is bad in bed rather quickly and also the hard way (no pun intended!) Ladies, how many times have you started to exchange emails with a guy only to suddenly find that he is trying to tell you how awesome he is in bed? Besides bragging about his mad sex skills he also starts bragging about the size of the family jewels. And by bragging, I mean exaggerating immensely.In the beginning, I found this quite curious, only to be vastly disappointed upon delivery. It's like waiting for Fed Ex only to have a carrier pigeon arrive. And get shit on at the same time. Where's the fun in that?
So when a guy tells me any of the following, I know it's time to bolt:
1. "I REALLY love foreplay." That is code for-that's all I can really do because my small penis just won't cut it and I don't want you to be disappointed.
2. "My last girlfriend told me I was the biggest she ever had." That week? That month? Ask her to be more specific.
3. "I only like to do it from behind." Here he is really saying, 'so that you don't notice my unusually small package.'
4. "Size doesn't really matter, right?" This is code for, I'm just trying to see if you'll sleep with a guy who is the size of your pinky.
5. "No one has ever complained about my size before." Right, no one has ever complained TO YOUR FACE.
The thing is, guys, that bragging only makes us suspicious. Or making statements such as the above will simply render you a raised eyebrow. I have to admit, I hear sign #2 and 3 the most.
What are the tell tale signs that clue you in that someone will be bad in bed?
Posts
8 comments:
Nice post. Have to say, we skinny boys prefer doing it from behind because we have no upper body strength. I have to stop for a rest after five minutes of missionary...hmm, and I wonder why I'm single.
plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
Sadly and humorously, so true. Also, the condom discussion can be telling. When he says "I don't like condoms" (no kidding, bozo. Is there a man who does?)this means he has performance issues and doesn't want to bring the odds down to zero that he'll be 'up' for the task.
LOL.. I really HATE to give my input here but... (and I think that you ladies already KNOW this) us guys really don't "look" for "tell tale" signs :) that a woman will be "bad" in bed :D were just HAPPY to errr you know :) GET IN BED!!! lol
Just keeping it real!
Ha! I've been getting the "I really love foreplay" quite a lot lately. Thanks for the "little" heads-up!
-Plentymorefish: Oh is that the reason? I won't make any assumptions about you then! haha.
-Robyn: OMG I should've added that! I kid you not that for one guy the condoms were too big!
-Aion: Too true.
-Freckledk: And now you know why! lol
What DD is not explaining here is that 99% of the male population would disappoint her since she is addicted to COCKASAUROUS!! Rrrrroar!!
Kinda makes you wonder at the size of the BOB (battery operated boyfriend) she has hiding in her nightstand.
Picture a toddlers arm holding an apple...
Mike, that is such an inappropriate description of any device in my nightstand! Also? I think you might have tiny man syndrome. LOL.
If someone is REALLY bad at making out and all awkward (not the hassled getthoseclothesoffNOW! kind of awkward, but calmly awkward) then he's probably bad in bed. At least from I've experienced.
Post a Comment
Posting a comment only validates my awesomeness. Thanks for the contribution to my big ego. ;)