Dating Disappointment: When Secrets Are Exposed

At my age it would be hard to believe that the guys I date are skeleton-in-the-closet-free. And maybe it's wrong to always think there is a catch when I meet a guy who appears from the outside to be awesome, but my brain has almost been trained to think that no matter what, everyone has at least one secret that could be a deal breaker.

There was this one guy I had such amazing chemistry with and I really believe that it was this chemistry that allowed me to over look so many "secrets"...and by allowed me to over look, I mean ignore.

Dating disappointment #1: If a guy continually and repeatedly tells you they are awesome in bed, do not believe it for a second...or in this guy's case, 30 seconds. Was it 30 seconds of awesome? No. But he was a great kisser, so for some reason I let kissing trump good sex.

Dating disappointment #2: Pictures of the ex in their bedroom? Hello, earth to Dating Diva, he is not over his ex. I ignored this little secret as well because I wanted to trust him when he said he was over her obviously ignoring that he was contradicting himself.

Dating disappointment #3: He buys himself a gift for Valentine's Day and thinks his presence is simply enough of a gift for you. The secret? He was self absorbed. This one definitely hurt and will be a story for another blog post. I get that most guys don't dig the whole V-day thing, but when you know in advance that you will be receiving a gift, it might be a good idea to at least have flowers for the girl you are dating.

Dating disappointment #4: He doesn't call for days at a time and explains it is simply because he has nothing to say. I'm not saying he needs to call you every single day, but going 5 days without a phone call might arise some suspicion and hey...what if I had something I wanted to talk about? The secret here? Refer back to #2.

Dating disappointment #5: He tells you he once had a threesome and that he was into the guy more than the girl. Follow that with he enjoys hanging out at the local gay nightclub from time to time and you might want to reconsider breaking up with him (unless you are into that sort of thing too.) Pictures of him on the verge of making out with another guy and flirting with one right in front of my face should have been an obvious clue, yet I let great chemistry with him help me to purposely ignore this behavior.

How I was able to over look so many "secrets" with this guy, I will never understand. Maybe it was because it presented such a challenge to me or maybe it had more to do with not yet having boundaries in place at the time. But one thing is for sure, I will never let it happen again.