Dating Horror Stories: Worst Date Ever

One night I received an email from a guy who said he liked my dating profile. I quickly shot over to his profile to check out his pictures and description to see if we had anything in common.

Appeared normal. Check.
Well written profile (ie. included more than "I hate filling these things out.") Check.

So I replied and the conversation flowed. Soon enough we were talking on the phone. He seemed like a nice guy, although some of my alarm bells started to go off.

I am often a jokester and he would cackle upon punchline. Not laugh, but cackle. I thought to myself, "Either this will annoy the crap out of me or I will grow to love it."

He told me he smoked and loved coffee. Ok, I love coffee, not a fan of smoking, but as long as it wasn't really done around me, I am fine with it. Seemed Ok enough.

Then he would text me, literally, about 30-40 times a day. I wondered if he had a job.

We decided we'd meet at a local diner and if all went well, we would continue the date from there. I pulled up to find him standing outside smoking a cigarette, he weighed about 30 pounds more than the picture on his profile (obviously I forgot about my online dating mistakes.) We walked inside and sat down. He complimented me on how I looked and I thanked him. However, it became incredibly uneasy to talk to him as it appeared he never blinked. He just stared directly into my eyes the entire conversation, never once looking away. Almost boring into the back of my skull. I felt uncomfortable.

We sat there and talked for an hour during which he ordered two cups of coffee, needed to go outside for a cigarette break and used the bathroom several times. I found myself sitting at the table mostly alone. I decided I was definitely not interested in him and began wondering how to end the date.

When he came back to the table he smiled, showing he was missing a tooth in front. I cringed.

He then said, "So I think this is going well, where should we go next?" I felt bad. I didn't know how to tell him I wasn't interested. I shrugged, hoping my body language was saying it all. Obviously he doesn't read social cues.

We got in his car and made our way to the local theater. The entire time he interrogated me about whether I was dating anyone else, what those dates were like and when I would just date only him. I blew it off laughing and saying I wouldn't tell him any details. He did this all with an unlit cigarette stuck between his pursed lips. He never lit it, simply let it bob up and down as he fired question after question at me. I stared out the window wondering how much longer I could endure this date.

We got to the theater only to find out that the movie was sold out. He noticed Dunkin Donuts across the parking lot and asked me if we could stop there so that he could get a coffee and use the bathroom. Upon leaving there, he drove to a gas station to buy more cigarettes. Unable to handle it anymore, I just asked him to drive me back to my car.

Once there, he asked me if he could kiss me. I lied, "I don't kiss on the first date." He questioned me on that for about 5 minutes until I said, "Hmm, well now I have to use the restroom too. So I better go home." Then to my absolute astonishment he said, "Yeah, I have to go again," and as I got out of the car, he walked over to a wall, turned his back to me and began to urinate.

I'm pretty sure I mouthed the words "oh my freaking God" as I covered my eyes and fumbled getting into my car and trying to drive away as quickly as possible.

Needless to say, I never saw him again. Worst.date.ever. What's yours?