If He Lets His Friend Grope You, He's Just Not That Into You

One night a guy I was dating and myself were at a local show to see our favorite band. I was having a great time singing 80's tunes in between staring dreamily at my guy, that is, until one of his buddies showed up. His friend looks me up and down, smiles, leans in close to my ear and tells me his name while putting his arm around me in a way that spoke volumes. It was not your typical how-do-you-do by a long shot. I raised my eyebrow and looked over to my boyfriend who was looking up to the stage oblivious to what just happened.

I tell him my name and moved to join my boyfriend near the front of the stage. Without hesitation the friend cozied up behind me leaving no space between his body and mine. I ignored him until he kept inching me forward towards the stage and I had nowhere else to move to. At this point his hands were on my hips and he was grinding into me. I would push him away and glance over to my boyfriend who was still not paying any attention.

After about 20 minutes of the friend groping me despite my repeated attempts to thwart it, I grabbed my boyfriend's arm, yanked him next to me and sternly said into his ear, "Make him stop." He laughed and responded, "Stop what? He's drunk and harmless. He won't even remember you tomorrow." I was hurt. Why was it OK for his friend to grope me and make me feel uncomfortable simply because he was drunk?

I endured another hour of his friend pushing up on me and trying to kiss me all the while my boyfriend would roll his eyes and mouth the words harmless to me. It crossed my mind to walk out of the club and find my own way home, but I was in the middle of nowhere, an hour from home and my car was back at his house. After giving my boyfriend the eye several times, he finally patted his friend on the back, laughed and said "hey, keep your hands to yourself" then walked away to the bar to grab a drink.

I stood there suddenly alone with his friend, as he smirked at me and asked, "Can I have your number?" Thinking I was being smart, I said, "Only if he says you can have it" pointing at my boyfriend. I mean my boyfriend would never say yes, right? The friend turns his back, walks over to my boyfriend and says, "I'd like to have her number. She says if it's OK with you, I can have it." The blood drained from my face as I watched my boyfriend shake his head yes and the friend looked at me with a huge grin on his face.

At the very end of the night, his friend said something to me that was somewhat of a revelation at the time (because I didn't want to believe it) but obviously makes perfect sense now. He told me, "Isn't it clear to you? He obviously does not like you the way you want him to. If he really liked you, would he have let me within even an inch of you? Let me have your number? C'mon now. He's really not that into you."

He was right. Lesson learned.