"What do you want for dinner?" I asked as he pushed the grocery cart and I walked a few steps ahead."Chicken patties."
I quickly whipped my head around laughing and immediately said, "What? Chicken patties? That is so high school."
He wasn't laughing and asked me in a serious tone, "And why is that?"
"Because that is what I used to get for lunch when I was in high school. That is so 1992. What about some real food like boneless chicken or something?" I replied still giggling a bit, but realizing that he did not see the humor of his suggestion.
He stopped the cart, remained hunched over the top bar and asked, "Are you too good for chicken patties? Are you above that?"
That's when I realized this conversation was not about ideas for dinner at all. Nick is a chicken nugget, burger and pizza kind of guy and I am a steak, lobster and chicken marsala kind of girl. Do you get what I mean? A friend of mine asked me this question a few weeks ago:
"You just came from a weekend of hanging out with your friends who are well-known, don't want for anything and don't have a lot of drama. Then you have Nick. Is that what you really want?"
I am keenly aware of our stark contrast in social status. Nick was the teenager who got expelled from high school and spent a year in Juvie. I was the girl who went onto college and got her bachelor's degree. There isn't much we can relate to for our years prior to now.
It all reminds me of the Tyler Perry movie Daddy's Little Girl, where the lawyer fell in love with the mechanic. She lived in a posh house without a care in the world and he came from the streets struggling to make ends meet to afford his 1-bedroom apartment. Yet they fell in love.
And while I sometimes wonder if this will really become an issue for us at some point, I know that I look at him as a person and not as a statistical notch on the social status pole. He is an amazing person who treats me better than any other guy I have ever dated. And that is something money can't buy.
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7 comments:
It sounds like the problem is not the money, but maybe that the difference in financial situations and up-bringing makes him feel insecure, like he's not "good enough" for you (in his mind "chicken patties" was him).
That could cause problems in the relationship, but only if he lets in cause problems.
I bet you the mechanic in that movie (which I haven't seen) never acted like he wasn't good enough for the lawyer. He was probably confident enough to waltz in, sweep her off her feet, and not ever accuse her of being "too good" for chicken patties.
Just don't let him make you feel bad about not wanting chicken patties or whatever. It doesn't need to be anything more controversial than you not liking chicken patties (or not wanting to eat them for dinner) and don't be afraid to call him on his bullshit!
Good luck!
Princess T: Yes our backgrounds are very different. He was raised in a single parent family and my family remained intact until I was 21. He was always in trouble, and my mom put the fear of God in me that I never did anything wrong (that she knew of, ha!) He would rather sit home eating macaroni and cheese and I would rather go to a nice restaurant.
This post was just an example of us realizing that we are very different from each other in social class, but that it is how we treat each other that knows no classification.
Despite the whole serious tone of the chicken patty inquisition (haha), it made me realize that sometimes I have to be sensitive to theses differences. He is such an amazing guy for real.
Oh my, this is just like a situation I found myself in when dating a single mum with no qualifications and a habit of committing insurance fraud. Needless to say, it became an issue.
*Read about my dating disasters at plentymorefishoutofwater*
Fishy: I would say that is an extreme example! haha.
As long as one day you have chicken patties, and the next chicken marsala, I think it shall all be fine :)
Good for you to be paying attention and recognizing that this is not about the chicken patties.
In my experience, this issue can be tricky to navigate. And at the risk of raining on the Love-Conquers-All parade, I would gently remind you that the struggling mechanic in the movie "Daddy's Little Girl" had a successful outcome because of a scriptwriter...ahem...which we sometimes forget about in the real world.
http://adatingconfessional.blogspot.com
Life: haha--I was actually thinking of surprising him with chicken patties for dinner one night this weekend just to be cute.
Gabby: Yep. I have my BA in Psychology so I tend to be analytical of everything. ;)
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