Dating: Online vs. Offline

This week MasterDater posed a reader question to some dating bloggers, myself included. The reader had an online relationship with someone she had never met and was looking to take it to the next level. As someone who obviously isn't new to online dating or the old fashioned way to date (meeting people offline), it got me thinking about the difference between the two.

This was my response on MasterDater:

"I think online relationships can, at times, feel more intense out of the gate because you have their pictures, their hopes and dreams all spelled out for you on one page. People tend to say things they wouldn’t normally say face to face, which then often leads to a false sense of connection with another person. Sometimes what looks great in email and IM’s, even over the phone just doesn’t equal real chemistry in person. Body language, eye contact, mannerisms…they are things that are crucial when connecting with someone in a relationship. This is something you just can’t get with a virtual relationship. Before wanting to take this to the next level, my advice is to meet this guy in person, for all you know he could be missing teeth and enjoy peeing on walls during a date. Not that I know from experience or anything."

The one thing I have noticed about online dating is that sometimes people succomb to what Nandoism calls IYH or "In Your Head" syndrome. Where you create this fantasy person based on what you have read of their profile, what they have said in emails and instant messages all before actually meeting them in person. I know I have fallen into this trap a few times and at times, guys have made me out to be Miss Perfect only to be disappointed when they find that I have flaws just like everyone else.

When I've met guys online, I'm not typically one for lengthy "online courtships" because I believe that you can tell a lot more about a person IN PERSON. And most times, this has helped sort through the wack jobs and crazy people pretty quickly. There was this guy once who told me that he only liked to email/IM/call the person for 2-3 weeks before meeting in person. That seems crazy to me...and a big time waster. People often accuse me of moving too fast, but here is one time when I think it is warranted.

When you meet someone offline you can occasionally fall into this fantasy world trap too. Of course, chemistry is a good filter. But sometimes you make a connection and suddenly you envision writing your wedding invitations before the end of the date. We've all been there, I'm sure.

If you have dated both ways (that sounds kinky) what has been your perceived difference of the two?

Ps. Everything is quite dandy with Nick by the way. Still all in love and stuff. :)