I am still happily enjoying the beginning of this relationship with Nick. Omg you guys, have I mentioned how awesome he is? Well, those who know me IRL know that I can't stop gushing over him...which got me thinking about the honeymoon phase being a crucial component to a relationship. In fact, different aspects of it may help you to see what is to come of the relationship in the future.Sometime last year when I was frustrated with the guy who was still in love with his ex, I found myself griping to my sister about his lack of effort into our 3 month dating stint.
"I don't understand why a guy sees no big deal in not calling for days and days. Or just a complete lack of attention entirely. How did I go from flowers on the first date to negotiating for breadcrumbs a few months later?"
"I think you need to lose this guy. I mean, if only after a few months he is choosing to put in less effort, imagine how he'll be a year from now? In the beginning of a new relationship if a guy really and truly likes you, he is trying to impress you and go out of his way for you. If that's already faded, then you are not going to get what you need from this guy, ever."
Since she said this, I have used it as a source of measurement at the beginning of dating someone because it makes complete sense. If he really likes me he'll put in more than a concerted effort and he'll make sure there is never a doubt in my mind about how he feels about me--and it shouldn't wane within a few weeks (or months.)
So in fact, if the honeymoon period of your relationship is beginning to feel like the 7-year itch of marriage, then as my friend MasterDater would say, "Danger! Danger!" (he says this far too often to me!)
Have you found this to be true for your relationships as well?
(Psst! You can follow me on Twitter now too: @internetdate)
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5 comments:
Man, I wish I could get INTO a honeymoon period right now...I'm beginning to forget what a fourth date feels like.
*Read about my dating disasters at plentymorefishoutofwater*
You are setting up the foundations of the relationship: what you are willing to accept, what you like and not, etc. All CRUCIAL things! If only after a couple of months you already feel bored/annoyed/angry, what is it going to be in a few more?
Danger, danger! He. I like that! Mike's got a way with expressions, lol.
http://lifebeginsat30ty.blogspot.com
I agree with you completely! Not only is the courting phase important as a measure of what is to come, it provides an anchor in the years ahead when life's distractions wedge into the relationship. That lovely honeymoon period becomes a point of reference to remind partners why - and how - they fell in love. Enjoy...and pay attention!
(I tend to be with Mike in erring on the side of caution, but that's been hard-earned wisdom. In my youth, I chose to forge my own path and not take the advice of others. Simply another style of learning, isn't it? Bless our little trial-by-fire souls!)
http://adatingconfessional.blogspot.com
You're 100% correct. Anyone who has had a long-term relationship knows the beginning is the best part. Once the passion is gone and the relationship is secured, even good, loving men will get lazy. As a result, something with a bad start is only going to get worse, not better, with time. Why waste your time?
Child, we have a ways to go--I think you have like 2 weeks up on Santiago and I....so we are trekking right behind you. You saw us both on Saturday, and we are totally in the Honey Moon phase, 3 months of healthy PEA being produced! Let's see what month #4 brings. YIKES!
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