Dear Interwebs, He Loves Me

I drank the kool aid my friends. Or as Mike said in the comments on yesterday's post, I bought the mortgage. And yes, I bought the mortgage knowing that the house is not entirely perfect, but sometimes imperfection is beautiful.

Only having met Nick just shy of a month ago, most people would say this is too soon. In fact, I text my mom this morning to share the news that Nick told me he was in love with me and her response was:

"Take your time. No matter what you feel or what he says, don't rush it."

I get it. The heartbreaker told her to her face that he would never hurt me and he did anyway. She doesn't want to see me hurt again like that.

But when you feel it, how can you try to stop it? And what if it is meant to be? I guess you can never be 100% of this, naturally when you first feel it you think it's meant to be...but only time will tell. There is a story about my dad that I often hold onto:

After 22 years of marriage (and lots of fighting) my parents finally decided to get divorced. My dad moved out on May 1st into his own place and immediately got himself a sports car. Mid-life crisis, I thought to myself. By the end of May my father asked me to come to his apartment to meet his girlfriend, whom he had just met through the personals. I chuckled to myself, because seriously? A girlfriend? My dad? No way.

I met her and could see that my dad and she were like teenagers. I wanted to vomit. Then on the 2nd week of June at my sister's high school graduation party my dad showed up boasting the biggest grin I have ever seen. I chalked it up to new love but was floored when upon leaving the party he enlightened my brother, sister and I with the news that he was engaged. They would be married the day after my parent's divorce would be finalized. That would be in 91 days.

I tried to talk him out of it, not because I held loyalty to my mom, but because I felt he was being foolish. I told him he was rushing things, I told him he was just afraid to be alone...he told me I didn't understand how he felt about this woman.

Exactly 91 days later my father and his fiance married. No one thought it would last except the two of them. That was 15 years ago and my father and his wife are still as much in love now as they were back then. And I am incredibly happy for him because as time has passed I have come to understand that this was the woman he was meant to be with.

I realize this is the exception and not the rule, but I have come to love my dad's story. He took a huge leap of faith and could of certainly wound up in a car wreck. And I'm not saying there haven't been bumps in the road for him and his bride, trials and tribulations are to be expected, but they have made it through because they are committed.

So I'm taking the same leap of faith. Thanks for the inspiration to do so, dad.

Romancing the Stone

As I left my house yesterday to do errands, it dawned on me. He's having a guy freak out. I reminded myself about a moment Saturday night before venturing out on a real date (dinner and a movie) when we were standing in my kitchen leaning back against the counter. He had his arms around me atop my shoulders and as he leaned in and kissed my forehead he said, "You got me falling for you." Unsure what to say, I simply hugged him a little tighter.

I listened to reader comments yesterday and patiently waited to hear from him first. And about 6:30 last night he sent me a text:

"Hey beautiful, how was your day? I miss you so much already, I can't even begin to explain it."

I breathed a sigh of relief. A few texts later he says:

"I'm so sorry I upset you last night, it wasn't my intention and I do apologize..."

followed by:

"By the way, I'm a little freaked out. I'm falling in love with you hard and that's never happened so fast before."

"So am I and I keep trying to talk myself out of it" I say with an 'LOL' at the end.

"I'm not trying to talk myself out of it, I'm trying to talk myself into trying to slow it down, but the harder I try the more it backfires."

So at least we got the root of the problem, which happens to not be much of a problem at all it seems. This will be a lesson in restraint for me, as I realize that for guys falling in love with someone is not the same as being in love with someone. I think as women, we tend to blur that line and make the jump a bit quicker.

So I'll be patient and let it happen organically while pondering the irony that I met this great guy offline in the real world while writing a blog on internet dating.

Awkward Silence

After Friday night and Saturday night spent together, when Nick left Sunday morning, I wondered to myself if he should come back as I didn't want him to see me so much that he got tired of me. I told him if he wanted to go out with his friends that night, I'd be fine with it, but he insisted he was coming back.

When he returned that evening, I was glad because I really like him, but after the weirdness that occurred as the night progressed, I think I should've pushed a bit more for him to only see me the following weekend. I feel like the "novelty" of me may have worn off.

He had made us a nice dinner and while we ate he began talking about the renovations I want to do to my house. I found myself giving excuses as to why I didn't want to take any of his suggestions or why a particular renovation just wouldn't work. He shook his head at me and told me I was being too negative.

Then a client began to text him to come fix a leaking pipe at her house (she tried to complete his work without him and messed it up.) It was obvious that he was annoyed and agitated, but it seemed to carry on for more than it should. We had plans to go out to the movies, but now it looked like he was going to have to take care of her water emergency. Then he became quiet and we just sat there eating without saying a word.

I finally decided an apology for my negativity surrounding his house suggestions was in order because I completely knew why I was doing it. I got up from my seat, walked over to him, sat on his lap and put my arms around his neck and sighed.

"I'm sorry about making it seem like your ideas are impossible. I just don't like planning things like this. Getting excited about how things can be fixed or an addition to my house, you know? Because I don't want to get my hopes up and then possibly be disappointed if they don't happen."

"I see."

Basically I'm afraid to make a plan that he and I are going to do something big, like fix my house, only to have it not happen because our relationship goes south. It happened to me before and it is a big let down.

He's quiet from there on out and he unconvincingly tells me that nothing is wrong. We drive to the client's house in silence, he goes inside and I sit in my car for 20 minutes. Once he is back in the car, he texts the rest of the time without saying a word to me. I debate taking the exit for my house and just call an end to the night. I keep feeling like I did something wrong.

Walking into the theater he keeps his distance and doesn't say a word. We sit in an empty theater and stare blankly at the screen.

I finally say, "Please tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing," he says staring straight ahead.

"Well usually you are all affectionate and talking to me and you haven't said a word and you won't even hold my hand."

He looks at me and says, "Well you haven't said anything either though."

"You're going to make me cry." And I was serious because there is no worse feeling than knowing the person you care about is upset about something and not knowing what it is.

5 minutes into the movie he grabs my hand and puts his arm around me and says, "I'm sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to." And things went back to the way they were pre-client call without any further explanation.

Later that night he tells me he was just upset over the client and felt it was better to be quiet than to keep complaining and being negative. But his reaction and the way he dealt with it is what makes me concerned. As someone who truly believes in communication (even when it means discussing why I acted or said something a certain way), it bothers me that he would shut down communication with me over something that was not caused by me.

I explain to him that I am a fixer and that when I fear something is wrong, I set out to make things right. I let him know that he hurt my feelings when his silence and withdrawal made me feel like I did something wrong. He apologizes again and says he is tired and just wants to go to bed. It was clear that there would be no further "interaction" that night, which sorry, if you close the door to sex after a night of weirdness, it further prompts paranoia. No guy says no to sex unless something is wrong.

My alarm goes off Monday morning and he literally, I mean literally, jumps up out of bed and puts his clothes on. I laugh at the awkwardness of what he just did and he cracks a smile. 15 minutes later he is telling me he would be heading home. Says he doesn't want to be at my house when my ex shows up and explains, "I don't want you to think I am running away, because I'm not."

Yet I cannot help but feel like he is already gone.

You Know When You Know

"I have never felt so strongly about someone this quickly before."

"Well, it's been what? 5 months since you've dated anyone? You're just lonely."

"Nice, thanks."

"I just mean..."

"I'm trying to say how I feel and you are trying to shut it down."

He's right. All of the creepy guys I have dated since the heartbreaker that have come on strong so soon, I just bolted. But they were creepy and Nick is not. And I completely deflect all of his talk of feelings for me with a joke because I don't really want him to know I feel the same way too. I mean we all know that the second I saw him it was like Cupid hit me with 100 arrows. And sure, I tend to fall into strong like with someone within a matter of weeks easily (Mike will attest to that from all of my discussions about my dates with him,) but in my short lifetime so far, only a handful of people were love at first sight.

There was Chris, who was a blind date. I knew when I met him that I'd be dating him for a while. We were together for a year before he unfortunately joined a gang (nice, right?) and they told him to end it with me because I wasn't part of the "inner circle." I was only 17 and he was my first love.

Then William, who came to a barn fire I was at. He was walking up the driveway and I distinctly remember the glow of the fire on his face and thinking I was going to marry him. It ended 3 years later, but we were both only 21 and not ready for eternal commitment. (Ok, that's not true, he wasn't ready, I certainly was.)

Then my ex-husband, I met him with family around and told them he was the guy I was going to marry. 2 weeks after meeting me he told me he was in love with me and a year later we were married. We were together for 12 years.

I totally stand by the saying, you know when you know. And I know that Nick knows this about me already without even saying that 4 letter word. He says everything but that. And I know that I know, but I'm afraid to tell him that. Simply because I'm afraid to crash and burn...again.

Domesticated Dating

The morning following my Valentine's Day date with Nick he wakes up before me, makes himself at home setting up the coffee and upon opening my eyes, hands me a warm cup.

"Good morning, how did you sleep?" he asks.

"Awful, you kept elbowing me in the head." I say, poking fun at what a restless sleeper he is.

I take the coffee and smile and then place it on my bedside table. He looks confused and asks, "You don't want it?" I don't want to sound ungrateful because I only drink ice coffee, so I say, "Yes, it's great, I just want wake up a little bit more." He can tell I'm fibbing.

We just hang out watching the news snuggled in bed. Something about it feels right. Then one of his client's calls and he has to leave. He assures me that he is going to call Jeff for me to get them over to fix the furnace. I ask if he'll be back later in the day, he promises that he will.

He finds his way back just before dinner and we make another trek to the grocery store. As we are walking in I jest, "Second date and we are already doing grocery shopping together." The funny part about this 30 minute excursion is that we were laughing so hard the entire time that I don't even recall anyone else in the market except the cashier checking us out.

Dinner tonight is chocolate chip pancakes. Normal people would laugh, but this is my childhood favorite. It's comfort food when I am feeling bad, although I am feeling pretty good right now.

After dinner I explain that I have to do some work for about an hour and told him to make himself comfortable in the living room watching the tube. About 30 minutes into working away I can smell the wood stove. I head to the living room to find that he had brought in wood, stacked it by the stove, filled up my garage with two huge stacks of wood, cleaned out the stove and re-stacked the wood outside so that it was under the porch and out of the snow. I was amazed. What guy opts for doing this much work when he could've simply sat on the couch and vegged out?

The thing about Nick I really like is that he has that bad boy appearance, to the beholder he looks like a real tough guy. But yet, his actions and words are the complete opposite. He is entirely affectionate, demonstrative in doing things for me to show he cares and says things that make me feel good.

I think I could get used to this.

Valentine's Day Date

Nick pulls up in my driveway and upon entering the house tells me how beautiful I look. It makes me blush. He says, "Let's go figure out your furnace," so we head down to the garage and he calls Jeff to try to resolve the problem. Furnace goes on, shuts off, goes on, shuts off...you get the picture. He looks at me and says, "They're not going to come tonight to fix this; let's get a fire started." Without hesitating he grabs kindling and wood and heads straight to the wood stove.

Once the fire is going we decide to head to the market to pick up food to make dinner. Upon walking into the market I reach out and hold his hand. He smiles at me.

By now it will be close to 8 when we get home so we decide on something simple: angel hair pasta and Italian bread. Nothing over the top, but the conversation was good as was the company. The furnace remained on at this point (but would turn off again in the middle of the night) and we had a nice fire going. We decide to snuggle up on the couch, watch the fire and a movie.

At this point he still hadn't kissed me. I could tell he was nervous despite all of the hand holding and snugglebunny-ness. So I looked at him and asked, "How much longer is it going to take for you to kiss me?" I said it quite confidently, trying to be assertive. That's when he finally leaned in and kissed me.

And what a relief, he is a good kisser!

This always does me in. I have no will power at all. And I immediately thought in my head, "What would Master Dater do?"

Sidebar: A little more than a week ago I was talking to Mike and said that when I do anything in my dating life I always ask myself WWMDD? I told him I imagine a mini version of him with wings and a halo on one shoulder telling me how to proceed and then I have the mini version of my subconscious with its little horns and pitchfork egging me on to do what my "id" is telling me to do.

I knew Mike would tell me to close up shop and wait, but then I also remember a post that Jack wrote "Dismantling the myth of first night nookie." Needless to say, sorry Mike, but I decided to trust Jack on this particular night (for my own benefit of course.)

All told, this was a really good Valentine's Day date. The funny thing is that as I am learning more about Nick, he is 100% opposite of what I or anyone who knows me would consider my type. Yet I am completely smitten with him. And I guess that's all that matters, right?

You'll Come Out of Nowhere and Into My Life

I'm probably writing this high on a good mix of chemicals in my brain that are triggered when you lock eyes with someone for the first time and know that you don't want to let them out of your sight. I do not want to let Nick out of my sight (said in the most non-stalkerish way possible.)

I had a long travel time ahead of me for my trip this past weekend and as my bus was getting its start, Nick sent me a text.

"I have something I want to tell you, it's 3 long pages of texts. Don't say anything until I say I'm done."

I wrinkle my nose wondering if it would be anything bad. I am sometimes the worst case scenario thinker.

In his novel of texts, he told me how much he liked me and his wording showed vulnerability and that he was nervous I didn't feel the same way (without saying exactly that.) I confirmed that I also liked him a lot. His next text read "I am so relieved to hear that."

I was busy all weekend, but we made sure to send a few texts here and there and I'd call him when enroute in the cab so I could hear his voice, even if it was only for 5 minutes. One night I ended up in my pj's wrapped up in a blanket in the hotel hallway (as to not bother my roommates) on the phone until 2am and falling asleep talking to him.

I'm fully aware this is that can't-get-enough stage at the beginning of a relationship. I know I have to be careful, although when you are caught up in it, that can be difficult to do.

Heading home on Valentine's Day, I couldn't wait to get here for our date. Like a psychic he sent a text, "I can't wait to see you."

I arrive home and open my front door. As I place my luggage down I realize that I could not tell the difference between being outdoors and being indoors. My heart sinks and I quickly look at the thermostat.

No. Please not when I have a date in an hour! 55 degrees. Just then my phone rings; it's him. "So are you ready; I'm on my way!" I can hear the excitement in his voice.

"Looks like we're not going anywhere. My furnace is broke again. I have to call Jeff." I respond so incredibly disappointed.

Unfazed he says, "Don't worry. We'll figure something out."

When You Wish Upon a Star...

I am way hella excited for Sunday night. And from my conversations with Nick, so is he. I told him that he has to plan the date and he accepted without any resistance.

"It's a big night being our first date and all. I gotta make sure we do it right," he tells me.

I can tell I make him nervous, although occasionally he seems to ask me a question or tells me something that most guys wouldn't. He is not at all apprehensive about telling me he likes me, in fact today he text: "I like you a lot and that's weird since I don't even really know you."

But I get what he means. We've all been there, it's all of those hormones working overtime, skillfully creating our rose colored glasses. He worries that the person I am before him now won't be the same person a few months from now. But most people who know me, know I am consistently me...except for when I fall for a guy. That independent girl tends to fall to mush. But otherwise, I don't hold grudges, I don't like to argue and fight, I don't try to prevent anyone from hanging out with their friends...all the usual stuff. I try to reassure him, but I can tell he is skeptical. He then goes into a long explanation about all of the women and even his guy friends who have worked him over. It makes me realize that trust with him will be a big mountain to climb.

He also makes quite clear that he is a private person and doesn't like his business shared with the world. Between him and his girl is one thing, but if she goes out and starts dishing to everyone...well...I have this blog...I decide not to tell him. In fact, there are only a handful of people who know anyway, but it makes me feel guilty because he is so clear about his privacy.

He begins to tell me things about his past, but I feel it is more of a test to see if I would be accepting of him despite the kind of person he used to be. He is the first guy to ever lay it all out on the table to me, a complete stranger. But yet he says he feels comfortable talking to me, that I am "making" him say things he doesn't normally talk about. Although I realize my intuition has been pretty bad lately, I can tell he is sincere.

He knows I'll be gone most of the weekend but asks that we talk again before Sunday night. He has no idea that half the things he says seriously makes me happy. He's nervous I won't want him to kiss me, I finally spill how many times I brushed my teeth the first day he came here. He laughs at me. I don't think he realizes I wasn't kidding!

So here's to fairytales because right now I feel like Cinderella getting ready to meet her Prince Charming Sunday night.

Writing a Love Story in my Head

I really do get caught up in fairytales. So I will try hard to keep a level head this time because Nick is charming. And charm goes far with me and has been known to get me into trouble.

I listened to all of my commenters yesterday and waited for Nick to contact me first last night. Made sure to not text back right away when he text me, made sure to tend to the other things I was doing so not to be all super excited giddy girl texting away. He asked how my day was, how work was, how my kids were (this always scores big points with me) and was genuinely excited about things I was excited about. It was clear to me that this guy likes me based on things he was saying, especially since he said, "I like you." (It's not rocket science sometimes.) Naturally I am thrilled, but with that comes my head telling my heart to proceed with caution.

He calls me once my kids are in bed and the conversation was easy. So much so that before I know it, we were on the phone for 5 hours (I even had to pretend to tend to the kids so that I could put the phone down and go use the bathroom. Note to self: don't drink so much water when on a marathon phone call.)

In our conversation we reflect on the day he came here with Jeff when he tells me that as soon as he saw me he wanted to find excuses to come up from my garage just to talk to me. I secretly smiled without even telling him that when I saw him the heavens sang. He doesn't need to know that, right? Although he was pretty straightforward about what he thinks of me (beautiful) and throughout the conversation issues many compliments, which seem completely sincere and not at all like he is trying to win me over. (I could be totally wrong of course.)

He confirmed that he hadn't dated anyone in a very long time because his divorce was traumatizing and he wasn't ready to start over again with first dates and caring about someone. But, yet again, he didn't seem to have a problem saying he was excited to go out with me, that it was his honor (his honor!) On top of that throwing "we should do that" "we should go there" "I'll do that for you" in the mix. Sweet and all, but it also makes me leary because I know I could get entirely caught up in daydreams of traveling with him and experiencing life...only to have him turn out to be one of those guys who rushes in as quickly as he rushes out.

And yet, as we have decided our first date will be on Valentine's Day seemingly making this even more magical, I fell asleep planning many more days with this man.

Photo Credit: savagechickens.com

Nick + Me Sitting in a Tree T-E-X-T-I-N-G

Saturday:

Me to Nick via text: "Hey Nick, it's Dating Diva. So I passed onto Jeff that you should call me sometime. What's taking you so long? ;)"

Waiting, waiting, waiting. Sad. No response, text MasterDater voicing my disappointment, he tells me to have patience.

Monday evening:

Nick to me via text: "Hey girl, I'm so sorry I didn't get right back to you. I didn't have my phone with me and I would love to go out with you. I'm not sure, when is a good time for you?"

Let me interrupt for a second. "Hey girl"? Only my girlfriends refer to me that way. Thought that was a little weird for a guy to say it. Ok carry on...

immediately followed by: "I know you have your kids during the week so maybe on the weekend? By the way, Jeff never told me that you said that. He told me I should ask you out."

Wow, so I inquire about calling me and automatically he is all that he wants to go out with me. This is going to be easy! I text MasterDater and express my glee. (Basically he is like my favorite girlfriend that I tell everything too. Except that he is a guy. And he is incredibly good looking.)

So Nick and I text off and on for the next two hours as I multi-task doing work and home related activities. I learn that he is 31 and has one son who is 3. He only moved to the area 5 months ago. Hasn't been on a date in a long time because he is tired of all of the game playing. Says he's too old for that. I then tell him I am older than him. He says I don't look my age. Brownie points.

I ask him what he likes to do for fun and he replies, "Enjoy good company." Hopefully he means me. He comes off as very serious in all of his texts, I try to lighten the mood with my many lols and ;) at the end of my texts. He tells me it would be his honor to go out with me. I totally blush. He says I come across as down to earth and I think he is making a good observation.

He never does end up calling me, but tells me he will get in touch with me on Tuesday. My overall impression is that he is a little shy, but it is also painfully obvious that he has been hurt a lot. We all are damaged goods in one way or another, but a jaded sad puppy dog is not really what I want to date right now.

However, I'm going to see how it goes. What is your take on it?

Photo credit: SavageChickens.com

Funny Dating Profile Titles

Some made me laugh out loud, some made me snicker and others just made me go, huh?

"I am like big cat; I like to be held." (I want to write to him, "I have teeth like dog, I bite.")

"Life's short, let's not be idle." (What the heck?)

"Will you be my Christmas surprise?" (Too bad it is February mister!)

"Want to go to a Little League game?" (Oh this sounds like an excellent man to date!)

"Ladies! Blue Light Special!" (He looks like he has been picked over for a reason too.)

"I'm not perfect, but I'm not a loser." (oh hee-hee-hooo! Holy smokes, I laughed!)

"Middle-aged man with some spunk left." (Oh heaven help me.)

These are just a few I came across tonight. Most guys always say "Nice guy looking for a nice girl" and then the nice girl gets described as something completely unattainable, unless she is plastic and her name is Barbie.

What are some of the best dating profile titles you have come across?

Better Dates with Paid Sites or Free Sites?

After my Friday night date and realizing I really don't want a hat trick of men with criminal records, I got to thinking: do you yield better dates off of paid dating sites or free sites? I decided I would reflect on the sites I've had profiles on to figure this out through my own totally bogus "scientific" (heavy on the quotes) research.

OK Cupid: Free site. Only yielded me 1 guy so far. Dated him for a month but it was like pulling teeth to get him to actually call and not text me.

Yahoo! Personals: Pay to contact. I have met 5 guys from Yahoo. One I dated for 6 weeks, another for 3 months, two didn't make it past the first date, and then there was the guy who I fell madly in love with that broke my heart.

Chemistry.com: Pay to contact. I have dated zero guys from Chemistry.

PerfectMatch.com: Pay to contact. Again, zero.

Spark.com: Pay for contact. I'm getting emails, but everyone is from either 7 states away or England. What's up with that?

Match.com: Pay to contact. I've had extensive emailing and phone calls with guys here and really wanted to date the guys I talked with, however, I only dated 1 for six weeks. For some reason, the guys are much better looking on Match, but they seem to think they are out of my league. Ha!

Plenty of Fish: Free. All bad dates. Two 1-night stands, two that never made it past the first date and 1 convicted felon that I was falling for...obviously until I found out what a wack job he was.

My conclusion: It's obvious from reflecting on all of the sites I have tried to find dates on, that POF is not where I am going to find Mr. Right. Match and Yahoo! have seemed to find me better quality guys, with Yahoo giving me the guys I have gone out with on multiple dates for a longer length of time. I'm beginning to think that if a guy is investing the money for a pay site, then possibly he is not just using it as his personal black book. I think when my Match subscription is up, I'm switching back to Yahoo to see what happens.

What has your experience been with pay versus free dating sites?

Dating Story in the Making (I hope)

Turns out that Nick isn't actually a furnace guy, he just happened to be at Jeff's house the day I called. I call that luck or depending on how this story goes...fate. (And I so have a love story written in my head already.)


Jeff never came on Sunday or Monday for that matter, but Tuesday morning around 7:30am he calls me.

"Hi Dating Diva, it's Jeff. Will you be around this morning so I can finish fixing the furnace?"

"It depends. Are you bringing anyone with you?" I say with a laugh.

"My Uncle?" Oh, he already forgot who I was talking about.

"Oh no. I just meant..."

"Oh! Did he call you on Sunday?"

"No, did you say anything to him?"

"Yeah, I told him 'You should call her,' and he told me, 'I just might do that.'"

HUGE smile on my face.

He continued, "But I think he's waiting to get paid before he does."

"Oh no, I don't mean I want him to call me to fix anything in my house. I mean when I saw him, I was like wow. I want him to ask me on a date."

He laughs and I feel stupid for revealing that Nick wowed me. "That's what I mean, he was going to call you to go out. He's just waiting to get paid from this lady he is doing work for. You know, so that he has some cash flow."

Ok I understand not asking a girl out until you have money, but why can't you call her to get to know her before you actually ask her out? Guys help me out here.

Still, the fact that he said he may call shows there is some interest on his part, right?

I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Failed date after failed date and I get depressed. I have not been lucky in love since last Spring. Every date since has found me falling flat on my face and trying to get back up into the game with some positivity...but no doubt there have been times when I feel so jaded. Where is this guy Mr. Right? Michael Buble (oh yes I am a total groupie) reminds me...I just haven't met you yet.

"I'm not surprised, not everything lasts, I've broken my heart so many times I stop keeping track. Talk myself in, I talk myself out, I get all worked up and then I let myself down."

Sound familiar?

But my favorite, favorite part to the song?

"Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you'll come out of nowhere and into my life."

This inspires me. Despite bad dates and frustration over failed relationships, listening to this song and the words makes me feel like he IS out there, somewhere, and just waiting for me too...but it will all happen when it is supposed to and when the timing is right. And despite being the incredibly impatient person that I am, I know this is true and want to believe he'll be here soon.

Wishing, Praying and Hoping

Called Jeff about the furnace Saturday. It was so much louder than when he was here Friday, so much so that my floors were shaking from the sound. I was nervous, hoping that Nick would be accompanying him. For all I knew, Nick probably had a girlfriend. He probably wasn't interested, I tell myself. Who cares that the heavens and earth sang as soon I saw him Friday. I tend to create love stories in my head. My imaginary dating life is a Michael Buble soundtrack.

Jeff pulls in the driveway and I anxiously run to the door to open it hoping to see Nick. I take a deep breath before opening the door, but my heart sinks when I see that Jeff was accompanied by an acquaintance of my ex-husband. Just my luck.

Jeff walks in alone and I give my best disappointed look and say, "Oh, too bad you didn't bring Nick with you."

Jeff looks at me, smiles and remarks, "Yeah, when he said 'I'll call you later' when we were leaving Friday, I asked him 'Boy what did you do!? What were you doing upstairs while I was downstairs fixing the furnace?'" I don't recall him saying he'll call me, but I like the sound of it.

I get a big smile on my face, but I didn't ask what Nick's response was. I wish I did. Instead I say, "Oh, we were just talking about things that need to be done around my house. He offered to help." Jeff smiles at me and I continue, "But I noticed he not only gave me his home number, but his cell too. So..." I let my voice trail off as Jeff says, "Ohhhh."

At this point my ex-husband's acquaintance comes downstairs and I turn the conversation to the furnace. Jeff asks me to go check on the noise level upstairs and he follows me up. I ask, "Is he a nice guy?"

"Yes, from what I can tell, he is a really nice guy. He is the son of my uncle's girlfriend. I just met him, asked him over for a few beers and really like the guy. He's cool."

Jeff heads back downstairs and continues to work on the furnace. I attempt to start a fire in my wood stove unsuccessfully and Jeff comes to help me out. My hair is done, makeup on and I look pretty good. I'm hoping Jeff will report that back to Nick.

Finally, Jeff emerges back upstairs and tells me he'll have to come back Sunday to bolt the furnace to the wall to stop the ridiculous noise level. I say, "I wouldn't object if you brought Nick with you." He turns around and laughs, "I'll give him a call and see what he is up to." I point my finger and laugh as I say, "But don't you tell him anything! Because he might have a girlfriend..."

As Jeff descends the stairs he says, "No, he doesn't have a girlfriend, none that he told me about anyway."